is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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