is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
