How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
