I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
