dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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