using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
