barbara walters just said penis...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
