Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize