so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
