So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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