We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
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