Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
