someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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