"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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