she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I pour the whiskey from now on
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
