bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
