Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need a beard to bite.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
