this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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