My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
