so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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