I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
