just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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