her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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