I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
