Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
