I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
