Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
third nipple confirmed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
