Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
