fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
