look no pants
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
