please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
