when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
