so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
