Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
