ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
