It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
