Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
