Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
