She's JV to your varsity
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Panties = found
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
