their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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