u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize