Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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