yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish I only lived at night.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
