He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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