I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
