Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
