I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
