You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am one with the molecules
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
