did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize