i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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