Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
