And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have feelings that need drinking.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dick very happy bro
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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