i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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