I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
