Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
