why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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